gross gross gross...
what is it with dogs and "cleaning up' after the cats?
*gag*
must be one of the most REVOLTING smells ever.
makes me quite ill.
so that damn dog is kicked out of my room and she can grumble and snorf and growl and whimper and be a pain in the butt, BUT FROM THE PASSAGE WHERE I CAN'T SMELL HER BREATH!
ANYHOO...
Been looking at gifts for the boy, for his 24th, at the end of June.
I want to get him something unique, original, special... something that shows him how much I love him, and makes him think of me every time he sees it...
I also want to get another tattoo - had some ideas and sent an email to my tattoo artist friend, see what he says about it... if he has any ideas as well...
"Ani LeDoddi VeDoddi Li"
A few updates:
Yes, I got that job in the HellDesk.
Full time. 8am to 4:30pm.
Which means getting up at 0530, leaving home at 0615 and getting to work by 0700, or I fight my way through traffic for an hour and a half.
Joy.
I only fall asleep, if I'm lucky, around 0230.
So I am one TIRED little geek girl.
I have too many house sitting gigs lined up.
I am tired just thinking about it. Start next week with the first one.
No pets. Will be quiet. No internet either. will be boring.
But it's during the week anyway - so I basically come home, eat, shower, sleep, wake up early.. no time for anything else really.
Haven't done much photography recently - too exhausted on the weekends - but still getting orders...
OH!
My photobook got listed on Amazon... check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/Photographers-Choice-Andrea-Lindenberg/dp/B002ACW0E0/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244295916&sr=8-5
I'm kinda stoked, actually - a Lulu pilot program that included me!
I'll see what comes of it, and I definitely need to make a new photobook with updated photos and a new theme too...
I trimmed my fringe - it was annoying me - I think I did a pretty good job.
I am going to dye my hair "ruby red" a bit later... see how that turns out - since the blonde thing ain't happened...
Just a change.. it's a dark ruby red... so more reddy brown, but not auburn...
I'll see what my hair decides it will turn out as though...
Went out to the Marine Bar last night - first time since.. wow.. November last year!
They've revamped it - it looks awesome!
All warm colours and nice lighting and a very cool poker table and also a new pool table (Bridgeport)... I even managed to win a few games. The other table I don't I ever won once... but I blamed it on the skewness and the bumps in the felt!
Met Bud, and Jeff and Chris - no, not Marines. Guys working there on the new security fencing etc at the Consulate. Cool dudes. Chris was born and raised on Oahu, in Hawaii - he has such a cool accent :) He joined the US Army at age 18, and was also stationed at Schofield, like the boy. But obviously, WAY back - he said '79 to '82 or something! He was very cool. I didn't get to talk to Jeff much, but he has a really fun laugh and a lovely accent too.
Bud was cool too - married a saffy girl a while back, and has a young daughter here.
Met one of the new Marines - John Oh - he was born in Korea, but went to the US when he was 7. Joined the Marines!
He's tiny, but a sweety from what I could gather. Didn't talk to him much.
Didn't meet Joseph, the other Marine, but saw him wander off to Post in his camos. Made me miss my man SO much.
And hearing all the accents.
And I still haven't met Jeff, and he's been there the longest out of the n00bs.
Jason leaves end of the month I think.. or in July.. he hasn't got orders, just knows he's going to New Delhi! Can you imagine?! I think he'll do well though - he has a strange patience with developing nation people, like us. I wish him luck. (although he carries that with him at all times) Will miss him though! Half Italian, half Irish - makes for a crazy concoction!
Miss the boy something fierce.
and with the new Plan he's made... I guess i will just have to go on missing him for a while longer.
yes, hoping still to go to the States in December.
after that, it's back here.
guess i'll just make my own plans and stuff.
i want to move out.
i love my mom, love my animals, but i so desperately need my space.
and since i won't be going anywhere for a few years, i might as well do it when i get back.
Not this year though - will be saving for the trip.
Not sure if i have to buy the ticket or not.
Details are, as always, vague.
i'm adapting though.
I'm a tough cookie.
a Saffy through and through.
We move on.
the problem is there's no trust anymore...
people just don't trust anyone.
can't really blame them - there are so many con artists and schmoozers and people wanting to take advantage of any weakness (well, what they perceive to be a weakness - i don't think compassion is a weakness) that is shown.
the world has lost her innocence.
you won't hear "i took a chance on them because they are good people"
that makes me so very sad.
also
i wish i was stronger and braver.
yes, this from a girl who wants to fly helicopters for the US army and take photos in a warzone.
BUT
this from a girl who bought a rather cute little nose stud
BUT IS TOO SCARED TO TAKE OUT THE OTHER ONE!!!!
I start... i pull, gently... i twist... i begin... then something goes FLOLLOLLOP in my stomach and ZOOOOOOOOOOOPKAPWING in my brain... and my fingers shake and my knees go wobbly and I JUST CANNAE DO IT JIMMY!
*sigh*
i'm such a f**king wuss.
how can the boy love such a pathetic wimp?
i miss him.
my body actually aches sometimes. i need his hand in mine. his beautiful soft lips. his warm arms around me.
the way he smells.
the way he sounds. his voice softly in my ear, in the dark. his heart beat. his breath.
DAMN IT!
as my friend G said of the boy and I - it's all very lovely and romantic, but can we skip the boring bits and just GET TO THE BEING TOGETHER BIT!!!??
Thursday night, J and I rode (she rode Catch - he's unfit but coming along nicely).
We got back pretty late, because I came from work, so we only got going around 1725 or so - C and Malawi were waiting for us.
We hosed them down - it was flippin hot still - and put them in and fed and all that.
We said goodbye to Isaac, who went off on his bicycle, as usual, to go to the shops.
We would give him a lift in winter - but in summer he uses his bike.
J left first and I left soon after. I passed Isaac by, as he was walking to the end of the sand track, and waved to him as he got onto his bicycle.
He never made it home.
L called me yesterday afternoon, around 1600, while I was at work. He said he'd just come from the police station, with Patrick (Isaac's brother, who also works at the stables) and he had identified the body.
Isaac was hit by a car, coming through the stop street, at the end of the road. Around 1850.
It must have happened mere minutes after I saw him.
Luckily I was sitting down when L called.
I was (and still am) in complete shock. And so, so sad.
Isaac was one of the sweetest, kindest gents I've ever had the priviledge of knowing.
He was brilliant with the horses (never putting up with Ex's nonsense, and always being extra gentle with Catch who is very sensitive) and would always do his best to help out. He even tacked up for me a few times, when I was riding all 3 horses in one day and was running out of daylight.
I will miss his irreverent humour and shy smile. And he always sang while he groomed the horses. Sometimes old gospel songs in Xhosa, and sometimes hip hop, in his heavily accented English.
He always smelled of Zambuc, when he got in the car. And Sunlight soap.
He was teaching me Xhosa. A new word every time I was down at the stables.
People from all up and down Swaanswyk road left flowers and cards at the stop street where it happened. One of his shoes is still there. I felt pretty gutted when I saw that.
J and I left some wire flowers (the kind you buy from those dudes at the traffic lights) - because they will last longer.
He will not be forgotten.
His wife left for Transkei 2 weeks ago. I cannot even imagine how she must feel.
And Patrick. His brother.
I went up to the stables this morning, early, to help him out with the horses.
He had already fed them, so I helped muck out. I got dirty, and sweaty, and it felt good. Just to do _something_ to help.
I made sure Patrick had my number and said that if he needed ANYTHING, he only had to call.
He said I didn't have to come help out with the horses later, he could manage fine.
He said I should come ride on the weekends now. It would be "good". Because I'm working during the week and don't have time like I used to. I said that M had said I wasn't allowed to, but he said she hadn't been to ride, or even to visit, in years. LIterally _years_.
So. I will speak to Barry next time I see him, and tell him i will be riding on the weekends.
I won't be able to ride with M and the gang anymore, once I make my job decision. So i will have to throw myself into the old boys. Like it was before. I think that's good. Good for me.
I feel.. numb now.
Rest In Peace, my friend Isaac.
Some things to keep me occupied in the next few weeks/months...
1) Find Wacom and get cracking on the 99 Designs thing. Maybe make some money. (Thanks, Ness, for the link)
2) Renew passport (expires in Nov '09, but it takes a looooong time to get done these days) Home Affairs. That should be fun. I don't even know where it is these days...
3) Study AFAST and ASVAB. Seriously. Going to ace the AFAST (no pun intended). Will need to brush up on my maths and science. And learn American system of measurements etc. Blah. Silly Americans.
4) Get books from the garage - I have shelves, now I must put them to use, damnit. There's a photography book, my N+ and I want to find my LoTR.
5) Get a new tattoo or 3. Not the Big One - going to get that one with the Boy.
6) Write letters (maybe start up with LWT again... ) and send the Boy some more packages, when I know his new address for his new FOB.
7) Make money and Save.
8) Finish paying off debts.
9) Go to shows, but choose the ones I want. No more standing from 8am to 6pm anymore, sorry. Been there, done that. Earned my dues. I'm most grateful to all the people who have welcomed me back and told me that I have been missed. It means a lot.
10) Start running (find pouch for Zune and keys, for my arm - I can't stand running with things in my hands) and get control of my body again. Riding 2 horses, once a week, is just not cutting it. My abs have disappeared. I am sad about that. Very sad. Something must be done.
11) Archive the show backups on my brothers portable hdd. I've had it too long. The shows are old, they need to go onto DVD and get filed away.
12) Keep dreaming. I have so many things I want to do. I _can_ do them.
i hate how i keep missing him online.
i'm getting so frustrated with it.
messages left... and waiting...
how is my life right now?
it sucks.
but i'll deal.
i always do.
bigger issues than annoying work conditions.
i've been reading his letters.
again and again.
his words fill me up.
like water.
keep me calm.
keep me going through another day.
all i can think about is december... december... december....
but i have a lot of questions....
but they can wait.
stay safe out there, soldier boy, i've got my eye on you...
Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned deep to dust
Melt me down
into big black armour
Leave no trace
Of grace
Just in your honour
Lower me down
to culprit south
Make 'em wash a space in town
For the lead
and the dregs of my bed
I've been sleepin'
Lower me down
Pin me in
Secure the grounds
For the later parade
Once I wanted to be the greatest
Two fists of solid rock
With brains that could explain
Any feeling
Lower me down
Pin me in
Secure the grounds
For the lead
And the dregs of my bed
I've been sleepin'
For the later parade
Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or water fall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned deep to dust...
Following jd's example....
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Traveled to Germany.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Didn't make any resolutions for 2008, and I don't plan on making any for 2009. It's just easier that way - everything is thus a surprise, either way.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes
a) happier or sadder? Happier, mostly.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "I'm finding my way back to sanity, again. Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when I get there..."
Oh, and if you've read this far...
...Your turn! Consider yourself tagged!
I spent NYE at home with B and Z.
We chilled, watched tv, and I thought about smoking a cigar.
Had a few sips of pink sparkling wine
Took photos for the boy (as requested) and then got back into my comfy pants.
stayed up until about 1am and then went to bed.
which is apparently not something Americans understand...
perhaps if i say crossing fingers?
well either way, that's what i am doing...
holding thumbs that my camera sells, soon...
holding thumbs that AP gets back to me, soon...
holding thumbs that clients pay me, soon...
it's just a couple, but it's a few hundred bucks, which is always a good thing, yeah?
happily i got to talk to the boy this evening - while watching Over The Hedge, the Hammy moment ('it never eeeeeeeeeeends.... *zooooooooooooooom*... it never ends that way tooooooooooo....") so i was smiling already.. and then i saw him online :)
he misses me... YAY! glad to hear that, because i miss him too...
some days more than others - depending on how busy i am.. if my mind gets time to dwell on it or not...
he's safe where he is.. well as relatively safe as he can be, anyway
probably safer than i am! hah!
it sounds like he has it pretty good there, though - which is super cool.
his own room, internet access, some responsibility to keep him busy, cool toys too
i can't wait for photos!
i've been working out too much - the muscles around my belly are getting a little _too_ large for my liking... it's muscle, but because i'm already "well-covered'.. it tends to look like fat, under tshirts, etc, because it bulges out!
so i'm going to take it a little easy on the crunches and heel taps for a while... just concentrate on the skipping and the running (hah! that sounds so funny!) and also going to swim when i start house sitting for susan, in their lovely big warm pool.. can't wait, actually...
last time i stayed there over the summer, i swam every evening and i got pretty tanned and toned - was very cool. and you don't even FEEL it (at first anyway!) which is even better.
braved the crazy, dodgy areas of cape town today, to go renew my drivers license - took far less time than i thought it would, thankfully... altogether, i was gone for about an hour and a half, including driving time. which isn't bad at all.
had another dream about cutting my hair the other night (when i eventually fell asleep... really been struggling recently) and i'm wondering what it means...
i'm not talking pretty hairstyled kinda cut... i'm talking hacked off with a pair of scissors, all crazy. and the first time i dreamt it, i also then shaved my head after that... but not the second time i dreamt it... strangely enough.
anyone have any ideas on what it means?
i guess i should google.
google will know.
google is king.
or queen.
depending on your outlook on life.
need to get to the mall tomorrow, to buy something important.
really REALLY hope my camera sells soon.
hold thumbs people, please.
night night.
Been listening to this song by Beyonce'...
it rings true...
