today in the world

the problem is there's no trust anymore...
people just don't trust anyone.
can't really blame them - there are so many con artists and schmoozers and people wanting to take advantage of any weakness (well, what they perceive to be a weakness - i don't think compassion is a weakness) that is shown.

the world has lost her innocence.
you won't hear "i took a chance on them because they are good people"
that makes me so very sad.

also
i wish i was stronger and braver.
yes, this from a girl who wants to fly helicopters for the US army and take photos in a warzone.
BUT
this from a girl who bought a rather cute little nose stud
BUT IS TOO SCARED TO TAKE OUT THE OTHER ONE!!!!

I start... i pull, gently... i twist... i begin... then something goes FLOLLOLLOP in my stomach and ZOOOOOOOOOOOPKAPWING in my brain... and my fingers shake and my knees go wobbly and I JUST CANNAE DO IT JIMMY!

*sigh*

i'm such a f**king wuss.
how can the boy love such a pathetic wimp?

i miss him.
my body actually aches sometimes. i need his hand in mine. his beautiful soft lips. his warm arms around me.
the way he smells.
the way he sounds. his voice softly in my ear, in the dark. his heart beat. his breath.

DAMN IT!
as my friend G said of the boy and I - it's all very lovely and romantic, but can we skip the boring bits and just GET TO THE BEING TOGETHER BIT!!!??