33 posts tagged “tj baby”

went to get my passport and visa this morning, from the consulate...
EVENTUALLY found parking... reasonably far away, but i'm fine with walking - and it was lovely rainy weather, so everyone was inside...

took me 5 minutes in all...

AND they gave me 10 extra days on my visa and a multi entry one too...
which is ROCKIN...

but poses some financial issues...
obviously i want to stay longer with the boy... OBVIOUSLY!

but it means extended my medical insurance (a good extra R500 at least)
changing my ticket return date (another R500, which means R1000 altogether, because i've already changed it once)
adding extra days to my hotel booking (another 300 EUR)

so basically i'd have nothing to spend... and that would suck mightily...

i spoke to the boy when i called him just now - he said he "doesn't care" what i do... which is fine, means it's not a problem...

so.. it all stays the same...
and i still leave september 22nd and fly back october 7th...

still hasn't sunk in though...
i'm sure it will soon...

the boy said "why do you have such a sexy voice on the phone?"
he likes to surprise me with comments like that...

i love it.

*sigh*

here i sit, still in my jammies, at 1400, on a Thursday.

haven't even brushed my teeth, or my hair or anything.

i've had tea. and also made a decision to drink a glass of water each time i have a cup of tea. (because i drink too much tea, and i'm getting dehydrated - which brings on a headache. the headache was so bad this morning, that i had to take an Advil and have a sleep. but i feel better now. more human)

still waiting on my "letter" from my friend in Germany...
as soon as i get that, i can go to the German Embassy, and try get my Shengen visa.
i keep hearing horror stories about how strict they are and how easily they deny them... so i'm pretty damn nervous.

hold thumbs for me, that i get it first time, no hassles. because i don't have time to go back and forth, trying to get it right. or the money.

luckily, my friend V has given me some pointers (she worked in the travel industry for a while and has very helpful tips) on what to take with (everything i can think of, basically, and ways to show them i'll be coming back!) and i'll start making copies and stuff as soon as i get that damn letter.
I've got the ticket (Emirates - 22nd September) i've got the travel insurance (just need to deposit the money) and i've got the hotel booked (looks kinda simple, but has nice reviews).
now just the visa.

i've not shared all this with my mother. especially not after the last "conversation" we had.
i'll tell her when i get the visa, and everything is sorted.
i'm glad i have this blog. one she doesn't read.

I want to make money with my blog - but vox unfortunately doesn't like outside code very much - but can only do it on my domain blog. which sucks, because that's the one my mother reads, so i don't update it much, because everything i talk about seems to piss her off or upset her.

so i'm a little jealous of V, who is making "wads of dollah" with her blog... with paid reviews and adverts and stuff...
it's brilliant, and i'm happy for her... but i just wish i had the time and energy to put into it.

lovely weather today (nice and gloomy and cold, matches my current mood) and i am going to finish this cup of tea and take the dogs for their walk. they're so patient with me.
pathetic hooomin.

*sigh*
i haven't _seen_ my beautiful man in so long.
we talk on the phone, yes, and that's wonderful (i still love his voice, and it still makes me giddy), but i'd also like to see him. i miss that smile of his. his big warm loving beautiful eyes.
 
hopefully, i'll get to see him and hear him and everything else, all at once, very soon.

ok. the boy is nervous. seriously nervous.

so nervous, he says, that he doesn't know what to say or think or do.
and that's why he's been acting a little odd...

he's scared. but very excited.

looking forward to me coming over there.

and he also just wishes he could "do more" for me while i'm there...

see?
told you.
girly paranoia.
i just had to wait. he always comes through. that's one of the many reasons i love him so damn much.

he's just being a guy.

at least now i know for sure.

he's as nervous as me.

and he loves me.

he really is...

how did i get so lucky?

not even going to go into why.

he just is.

i am the luckiest woman in the world. and i can't wait to get there with him.

now i just need those contracts.
asap.

money money money.
buckets of it.

pronto pronto

it's going to be good.

wow. for once my instincts were right. something _was_ wrong.
it just wasn't what i was expecting.

it still confuses me though.

he called me at 5am, asked me to get online, he really needed to talk to me.

i thought "uh oh"

and yeah.  it was _something_ . thankfully it wasn't the OTHER two somethings though.

i'm still digesting it. processing it.

he is sleeping on it.

i'm glad i waited. and didn't overreact.

i'm still pretty empty though. it was kind of confusing.
maybe he will be clearer in the morning.

ok let me just say that i love him... all sides and angles and moods and everything about him...

but he can be pretty confusing at times.
i'm learning to deal with it...

just have to wait out the "doesn't really want to talk to me" days.. wait for the "loves me more than sleep! and cannot wait for me to get there" days...

it's a little bit up and down... and sometimes (just sometimes!) i feel like he doesn't want to remember what he has said to me...
and i do... from the first moment he said he loved me, i have not forgotten a word.
i remember every conversation (on the phone or online or in email) almost letter for letter... sentence by sentence... word for word...

he sometimes says that he "goes overboard" and he must learn to "control" himself...
but i don't understand why!
if i feel the same as him (on his uncontrolled days, i guess)... i'm swamped in this... this overwhelming love.. it's bigger than me... it colours everything i do and say and feel... i don't control  myself... why must he?
why must he hold back? i'm giving him everything. going out on a limb.. trusting him not to hurt me.

he said he's still wary of me, at times. wary of letting go.
i don't know what more i can do to prove to him that i will never, ever hurt him (definitely not conciously or intentionally!) and I will never cheat on him and i will never leave him. no matter what. and i was never, and still am not, wanting anything from him, except his love.

i just have to suck it up, hang in there some more i guess... take the blows.. the emotional rollercoaster...
wait for him to see he can trust me with his heart. he really can.

i've sorted a big chunk of my debts out... still got the credit card to go though... and some left on my camera loan...
nobody wants to buy my D50 though... Orms won't sell it for me ("it's too old, sorry") so i have to do it myself.. but i've had NO responses (in 2 weeks) from my gumtree ad...

i really am drowning here...
only just made my cellphone payment.. and now i'm paying off the credit card overdue amount (because i had NOTHING left after the cellphone came off and NOBODY has paid me, still) in dribs and drabs... but they said that was alright... so i just have to wait for someone else to finally pay me!

*sigh*
i just need a little break... a little windfall...
that's all i need...
just to get my head above water, take a breath, keep on swimming...

just keep swimming
just keep swimming
just keep swimming swimming swimming

claw... kick... claw...kick... ATTACK the water...

arg!
now, the boy tells me he only has to be out by july 13th... that's when they come to ship his stuff off...
well..at least he's got all the difficult stuff done!

he had a good weekend - was having fun being the photographer for his friends and their band :)
...and they came upon a cheerleaders camp...
4 gorgeous soldiers... lots of young cheerleaders...
hmmm - it MUST have been fun!
*grin*

he also bought me the most beautiful necklace... i was absolutely blown away... it's so stunning...
a black pearl, white gold, and a diamond...
just. WOW.

i am so lucky.

he will give it to me in person - but he couldn't wait to show it to me :) he's so cute, when it comes to presents and stuff...

him leaving later means that his package will get there on time!! yay!!!
i'm glad about that!

The boy called me now (and i called back, of course) while driving back from the course he's meant to be taking...
he had to skip it today (which is a pity, because he's REALLY enjoying it!) because he just got notice that he has to be out of his barracks BY MONDAY!
He had till Aug 10th!
but the Army is being ratty, and now he has to rush around like an idiot today, and then this weekend... trying to get things done that he thought he had plenty of time to do!!
PLUS, his body armour got stolen... so he has to pay for that ("a good $1000" he said...)
i mean.. who STEALS body armour, on an army post?!?
what FOR? everyone gets issued with it...
very weird. and VERY annoying for the boy.
shame. :(

so, to say he's stressed would be putting it RATHER mildly.

poor thing! wish i could help, but it's all mil stuff that only he can do...

i sent his birthday package today... shit.
definitely won't get there in time!
Maybe Bravo can send it on for the boy...?

and there's something in there for Bravo too, cos it was his birthday today...
bugger!!
the Army LOVES to mess up plans, don't they?

and the boy does it again
sideswipe and i'm off my feet again... amazing!

wow.

i love him. achingly large amounts. all at once.

long conversation and lots of explanations
some questions
some answers
things click.

Here comes the soldier boy!
Papers are through! signed off! all done!
he has to be out of Schofield, August 10th!
Off to Grafenwoehr, Germany.

He called me, around 11:30pm - so excited he could hardly talk! :) it was so sweet!
I was out at a little gettogether at the US consulate - at the Marine house...  (was very cool - met the new Marines who've recently arrived - what a sweet bunch of guys!) - so i was awake.

I hope he went out to celebrate last night (because i haven't heard from him... no messages on IM or anything)
he's not awake yet, and it's just after 9

I'm so happy for him - what a relief!

i'm not going to push him for "decisions" though - we'll see what happens now. let things happen as they may.

i feel a little detached from him right now, i don't know why...
probably because i haven't "seen" him in a while.
and also probably because i was so worried/upset about losing Alchemy... which is thankfully not going to happen - B said he was glad to hear we thought that Al was just depressed, and he wanted us to try again with him. J and I took Al out for a walk, with Stormy, this morning (early - so i didn't get online... not sure if the boy was waiting for me or not... i have a feeling he wasn't though... that's what i mean about being "detached") and he was acting like his normal rambunctious self! full of nonsense! rearing and bucking and squealing and letting EVERYONE know he was back and he was THE MAN! It was wonderful - really made us sure about asking B about more time for him...
it was such a huge relief...

The Alchemy, and Stormy

i feel kinda numb now - but it's ok.